That's me. Certifiable.

Last weekend, caught up in a wave of oblivious confidence, I decided to make a wedding quilt for a young couple that work for the chef. Forgetting that I have vowed, publicly, never to make a queen size quilt again. I was awash in the happy glow of young people in love.

So, thinking I would make it easy on myself, I chose something from the stash that had "Fun" written all over it - a lovely bunch of fat quarters from Marcia Derse. I had seen the very same fabrics made up in the pattern pictured above at my local fabric store, Stitches, and thought it would be a nice simple project. It's by Yoshiko Jinzenji, who I have always thought was pretty cool.

Ha! Segue to this afternoon, where I wander from room to room, looking for my measuring tape (I own at least five - can I find any? Nope.) Then I put my scissors down some where and can't find them, because I have also put my glasses down somewhere and I need my glasses to find my scissors. Then, too late, I realize the upcycled linen tablecloth I am using for the background (chosen since it's supposed to be a white background and I didn't want the newlyweds not to use it because it was white and might get stained, but the table cloth has a few little stains on it already, so I thought it a brilliant choice) flops around like a just-caught trout, and I can't get a straight edge to save my life.

And that pattern? So simple I put it together upside down and backwards.

As I sit trying to figure out if I am stupid, senile, or both, Angus strolls in and starts walking all over the sewing table meowing for his mid-afternoon snack.

I decide I should take a break.

Gracie notices that I have gotten up from my work and thinks its time for a walk. She gives her trademark optimistic little "huff", not quite a bark, and I turn and glare at her: "Don't you dare huff at me!" She gives me a baleful look and skulks out of the room.

Take me away. Now.


  1. Yes - Linen is a bitch to work with. It's weave is so loose.

    I always loose everything when I'm quilting that's why I have 5 pairs of scissors, two pin holders, 3 trays of chalk, 3 rotary cutters, 6 thimbles, and 4 pairs of reading glasses floating around my work space at all times.

  2. trust me the Chef appreciates the effort involved and is grateful that you are doing it for these two lovely people.

  3. onesmallstitch10:34 AM

    - c'est la vie, Heather. It doesn't help to know you are not alone. Do tape measures, scissors etc. deliberately "hide" because they don't want us to go there??

  4. Anonymous2:16 AM

    Ever thought of recording your work process on video? It sounds very Chaplin-esque. I had a good chuckle.

  5. I had to laugh too, this is exactly what happens to me: losing scissors, glasses, needles, etc.
    It is somewhat comforting to know that I am not alone.

  6. My god, you're brave. I lose all of my sewing things, and accessories such as glasses each and every time I begin sewing. I tried leaving a pair of reading glasses on each floor of the house, but I forget they are on my head, and they all gang up in the same room on the same table by the end of the day.


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