To Boldly Go...

I found this book the other day in an used bookstore. Reading it is like visiting an alternate universe. Imagine a world where ladies put on make up and high heels before they sit down to sew. A strange new world where the surrounding area is immaculate. And what really boggles the mind is that the inhabitants of this realm sew lace on their machines! No, not lace like we Earthlings might create with soluble stabilizer and crazy random stitching, ending up with something that looks like the cat coughed it up.

But proper lace like nuns used to make during spare moments in the cloister. Whitework! Florentine Cutwork! Belgian Bobbin Lace! Cluny Lace! Teneriffe! The list goes on....

Now, in this alternate reality of Planet Threadlandia, all kinds of lace and embroidery are made with ease on a foot-operated treadle sewing machine, with no special attachments, not even a presser foot, just a hoop (and unearthly powers of hand-eye coordination.) Intricately shaded embroidery can be accomplished just as easily as lace - no need for a calming glass of wine (or three) to settle the nerves afterward!

Once all the simple lessons are mastered, the clever Threadlandian can move on to create her own designs, such as this tea cozy! This example is a dead giveaway that Singer Instructions for Art Embroidery and Lace Work arrived on Earth from another galaxy: the cozy is a single layer, and lace! How the heck is that going to keep your tea hot? Not in this dimension!

Needless to say, I bought the book. Couldn't resist the opening sentence:

The needle has been the instrument through which women have, aside from keeping things together, created beauty, and expressed themselves since the time some helpful male made the first bone needle.

Now, please excuse me. My starship awaits!